Michelle Costigan

Trauma can push people toward isolation, substances, or anything that numbs the pain. I felt that pull. What saved me was movement — and community.

I was a freshman at Northern Illinois University during the mass shooting on 2/14/2008. Everyone was on high alert immediately following the crisis and hours after the incident was contained, I found myself staring down the barrel of a police officer’s gun as I stepped out of my dorm room to brush my teeth. In the months and years that followed, my nervous system never settled. My body stayed on high alert, my mind never quieted, and I no longer knew how to live inside myself.

I joined a triathlon team not because I was an athlete, but because I needed something that could quiet my mind. The long rides, the rhythm of swimming, the quiet miles where my thoughts finally softened — they became a moving meditation. Training with others gave me connection when disappearing would have been easier. That team didn’t just help me heal; it kept me from numbing the pain in ways that could have taken my life in a different direction.

Through my work with The Phoenix, I now help others find that same lifeline: a place to move, to breathe, to belong. In August, I’m riding in the Fondo: SLC to support The Phoenix, a national nonprofit that uses fitness and community to support people in recovery from substance use or navigating mental health challenges. Please consider supporting my ride by making a donation to The Phoenix or sharing my fundraising page.

Your donation doesn’t just fund a program.
It helps someone choose connection over isolation.
It helps someone find a team when they feel alone.
It helps someone reclaim their life.